1. If it doesn’t smell like chilli, it probably isn’t.
2. If you catch an exploding manhole cover, you can keep it.
3. Cabs driving on the sidewalk are not permitted to pick up passengers.
4. It’s bad manners to lie down inside someone else’s chalk body outline.
5. Don’t lick food from a stranger’s beard.
6. Avoid paperwork for your next of kin by keeping dental records on you.
7. Jon Gotti Always has the right of way.
8. Yelling at cab drivers in English wastes your time and theirs.
9. Remember: Regular hot dogs do not have fingernails.
10. The city does not employ so called “Wallet Inspectors”.
— David Letterman, “Top Ten New York City Pedestrian Tips”